Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Disgrontificated Multisequencing Retro-Analysis

Now that you know something about todology and my methods for dealing with bullshitters and blowhards, I want to introduce you to another one of my more bizarre inventions: the Disgrontificated Multisequencing Retro-Analysis.

I love this phrase. It looks really impressive when it's written out. Not to mention it sounds phenomenal. Go ahead and say it out loud a few times and you'll see what I mean. 

Dis-gron-tificated Multi-sequenc-ing Retro-Analysis.

Really, it's just a mishmash of words I think sound good together. It doesn't mean a damn thing. But as a piece of BusinessSpeak it is unmatched. 

Whenever I am in a meeting with some blowhard who's trying to impress with his big vocabulary of useless BusinessSpeak, I inevitably ask for his opinion of Disgrontificated Multisequencing Retro-Analysis. 

The smart one's will blink and ask for clarification. The dumb ones will try to change the subject. 

As a business owner you will get lots of advice from many different sides. Some will be real professionals genuinely trying to help you advance your business. Others will be sycophants preaching the gospel of their latest business cult. And the rest are probably just salesmen. 

It's your job as a business owner to figure out who you are dealing with so that you only work with genuine professionals. You don't need to drink the Kool-Aid of some business cult to succeed. And salesmen are just trying to make a sale. Be smart about who you work with.

And when in doubt, ask them how they feel about disgrontificated multisequencing retro-analysis.

How do you feel about BusinessSpeak? What's your favorite nonsense phrase?

R-Squared Computing - Business Technology Experts
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